Tech-cavemen: imagining the prehistoric social networking

Posting content on social media has become a habit for us millennials and Gen Z, but have you ever wondered what it would have been like if cavemen had access to the internet? What kind of posts would they have shared on their social profiles?

This blog post will take you on a journey back in time to the Stone Age, imagining a typical social day for a Neanderthal influencer.

A day in the life of a Neanderthal influencer

Early in the morning, while the sun is rising, the alarm clock goes off: for our influencer, whom we’ll affectionately name Fred, it’s time to leave the cave to get some fresh food for breakfast and start the day. He puts on a mammoth skin loincloth and posts his first TikTok content of the day: fit check!

While on the hunt for his snack, Fred listens to the latest episode of his motivational podcast titled How to Become a Better Fisherman. He quickly gathers a handful of berries, but he wouldn’t enjoy the spoils without sharing them with his online friends. It’s the perfect moment to post an Instagram story and share his successful morning mission.

Next up, hunting and gathering. There’s no time to rest in the morning if he wants to grab a bite for lunch. Armed with his trusty stone axe, Fred ventures out in search of prey to satisfy his appetite.

To make the search easier, he typically logs onto Myhuntapp, a social network tailored for hunters to share real-time updates on game sightings. Thanks to GPS localisation, cavemen can view a map displaying the most prolific spots at the very moment. Just imagine how much time he can save thanks to technology!

After enjoying a succulent deer, Fred needs a post-lunch nap. What better way to fall asleep than by watching a relaxing ASMR video on YouTube?

With his energy replenished, our caveman can now go for his dinner hunting. A varied and balanced diet is important, so he opts to capture some fish. Fishing can be quite boring, you know, so Fred kills the time by doing a live broadcast on Instagram.

It’s almost 6:30 p.m., and Fred’s stomach is growling with hunger. Thanks to the fishing skills learned from the podcast, he manages to catch a decent-sized fish. He proudly shows his meal to the viewers, ends the live session, and heads back to his cave.

Once inside the cave, Fred faces a new challenge: how to cook the fish. Cooking has never been his forte, but since the breakup with his cavewoman partner, he’s had to learn to fend for himself. Fortunately, his digital companion Google comes to his aid. In a few seconds, Fred scrolls through online recipes and finds one that could satisfy his palate. How would he have done without the internet…

Fred is savoring the last bite of his delicious fish when his smartphone emits a familiar sound – it’s a message notification on WhatsApp. His friend Tung has organized a party under the starry sky and has shared the location of the event. What better occasion to take his mind off the breakup and perhaps meet some new cavewomen?

But there’s no way he shows up looking as shabby as he does now. Full of enthusiasm, he rushes to the nearest river and washes away the traces of the hunting adventures. Then, since he puts on the outfit for special occasions – a brand-new bear skin loincloth. As a final touch, he applies a few drops of berry essence. It’s shaping up to be an exciting night.

However, when he arrives at the meeting point, his expectations are shattered. All the guests are sitting around the fire with their eyes glued to the screen of their phones.

There’s only one way for Fred to liven up the party: he must play his trump card. With an eager tone, he exclaims, “Guys, have you heard Cardi B’s latest song?”