A quick disclaimer for this post, as it touches upon some heavy subjects, such as abuse, and grooming.
The last few weeks on the Polish side of the internet have been extremely intense. It all started with a video posted by Laura, an ex-girlfriend of a famous YouTuber, Gargamel (yes, like the guy from the Smurfs) talking about the abuse she experienced from him during their relationship in 2020-2021. After her statement, other women spoke up about their experiences with other famous internet creators. What followed was a heated debate, people discussing this Polish take on the #metoo movement from all possible angles. The situation was bound to evoke intense emotions. I would like to take a closer look at a few aspects that were the most important for me.
Context
I have been following Gargamel for a couple of years now. The content he created on YouTube was mostly commentary videos. He became known for calling out the problematic behaviors of influencers, and harmful patterns in YouTube culture. He was a loud feminist and an advocate for other pressing social issues. One of his most popular videos exposed the inherent misogyny underlying the shady business of life coaches teaching men how to ‘conquer women.’ He was confident, intelligent, and most importantly, different from other men on Polish YouTube, as a feminist, and a certain guard of morality. This approach turned out to be extremely successful, earning him over 950,000 subscribers on his YouTube channel. He became a DJ, recently working with one of the most established Polish rappers, and was co-hosting a podcast with another online creator.
The way he branded himself online, made the published materials so much more shocking. It is common knowledge at this point, that one cannot trust people online. However, sometimes it is nice to believe that some people are different, it is an understandable and, I would argue, extremely human desire. On the 25th of September, Laura posted a TikTok video describing her relationship with Gargamel. She shared voice recordings of their fights and screenshots of their conversations as proof of his manipulation, and physical and psychological abuse. In 2020, when their relationship began, he was 25, while she was 16. The age difference put her in an extremely vulnerable position, and he did not hesitate to use it to his advantage. His being an internet celebrity made him desirable. He abused this power to connect with a minor. Furthermore, it made speaking up for her especially hard, since he had a strong fanbase by his side. It is truly terrifying to learn such a thing, especially about someone one had listened to and respected.
Who is being heard?
After Laura’s video, more women began to speak up about their experiences. Curiously, their videos are not the ones cited most often. The women are treated as if they are trying to use this situation to their advantage, to gain something from false accusations. This claim is so ridiculous as if any woman has ever gotten famous for speaking up about the abuse she experienced. I cannot think of a single example. Simultaneously, male creators are having the busiest time of their careers, commenting, making videos, and generally stirring up the drama. A popular YouTuber, Sylwester Wardęga has published a video revealing materials compromising the image of other YouTube personalities. And he is riding the wave of popularity, teasing about other content he is about to reveal. And it is so easy to voice your opinion on the internet. Especially if you’re a man because people still like listening to men and value their opinions. Even in this situation, the male voices commenting on the case, are much louder than the voices of the victims.
What now?
This entire situation is so complex, that it could provide material for countless essays. What I wanted to focus on in this post, is the discrepancies between men and women that are still very much present in the contemporary landscape, fueled by the existence of social media. Gargamel’s entire online persona was built on him being a leftist advocate for morality, defending women, people of color, or members of the LGBTQAI+ community. Among the liberal, or left-leaning communities, a man respecting women and femmes and actively speaking up for them has an extremely high value. And it is very interesting, how being an outspoken feminist can be extremely profitable for men, while for women it is not necessarily the case. There is a certain distrust towards traditional, stereotypical masculinity. In recent years there has been a rise in the popularity of personas performing alternative types of masculinity, such as Timothee Chalamet, Pedro Pascal, and Harry Styles. I am not making any claims about them, I wanted to use them as examples of a certain trend. The case of Gargamel makes me wonder. But is it actually anything more than just aesthetic change? Or is it just a front put up to stay relevant? Are there any real values behind it? Or is it just another form of manipulation? Have we become so obsessed with fronts, that we forget the values that used to hold them up? Or perhaps hypocrisy is to some extent an inherently human trait?
What are your thoughts? Let me know what you think in the comments.
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