As an avid Redditor, there is a pattern I noticed online when it comes to people seeking relationship advice. Most people see breaking up/divorcing as the ultimate solution to everything. It could be simple posts like a girlfriend hasn’t texted back within nanoseconds, and there will be always one or more people screaming to break up. I wonder if it is because they’re bitter, trolling, or genuinely believe it is good advice. “Oh, your boyfriend forgot to call you back? BREAK UP”.
The problem with giving relationship advice online is:
- We do not know the full story,
- The writer could have been just emotional,
- We might have misunderstood the actions of the other,
- Most of us are not professionals or lack experience,
- Some of us might have bad intentions and just want to see the world burn
- Etc.
It also creates a view that every relationship should be perfect. If there is a flaw, it is time to break up, which I think contributes to more people being single and unsatisfied. Nobody is perfect, every human has flaws. There is no way a relationship could be perfect, because there will always be mistakes. One might as well ask for a unicorn if they expect to have a perfect relationship. The key in a relationship is communication. If that does not work, then it is better to go to a professional, and limit online usage for venting only. Throwing an entire relationship with the “good” person just because someone said so on the internet is foolishness. We should be careful with taking advice from the internet in general, not only regarding relationships. Especially in our emotional state.
Other people have voiced their opinions as well:
Other people defend the jumping to break up:
I do not agree with the last posts, due to the reasons I mentioned earlier. I do think that there are people in awful relationships, but I do not believe that Reddit is the place to come for advice. They could receive reassurance whether their situation is really that bad or not, but for their problems, it would be better to seek advice from a professional. Some cases could be complicated. For example, to divorce is easier said than to be done. It is true, everyone can divorce, but not without complications. Those complications need to be sorted out first before one can divorce. Breaking up is easier and less complicated, but even then it could still have issues. If someone is truly with an abusive person, breaking up on the spot might not be helpful. It might be even dangerous. They would need an escape plan.
I have seen other posts where users claim that they regret breaking up after they got advised online to break up. This shows a concern about the potential consequences of relying on anonymous online advice. What’s more, even psychologists warn people from taking advice on the internet. There are many articles on the internet stating how it is the worst thing one can do to their relationship, because nobody knows their relationship better than themselves. Indeed: “What works for another, may profit little to you and what ruins your affair, may seem exaggerated to another” (Huffpost).
What do you think? Should we seek relationship advice online? Take everything with a grain of salt?
This was personally my favourite comment and something I can agree with đ :
I like how you expose the absurdity of online relationship advice. I think pointing out that a “perfect relationshipâ doesnât exist is valid in the topic you chose. It was interesting to read because it seems obvious to me that seeking personal advice online is not the best idea and still so many people do it. Even though your post speaks about serious emotional issues I find it quite humorous.
I do personally think that the online world can occasionally be a convenient place to go to for advice or opinion, but mostly in cases where you are seeking some specific community that might not be accessible to you in real life (e.g. you don’t know how to come out as queer to your surroundings and so you seek help online). However, for relationship advice specifically, I would be cautious about taking online advice seriously. It seems a lot more logical to me for people to come to someone in their close circle if they need relationship advice (preferably someone who actually knows the couple in person), rather than talk online to strangers, who are not in any way qualified to tell them what to do with their private life and could therefore cause more harm than good.