What I mean
First of all, to prevent people from getting scared by the title of this blog, let me specify what I mean by stalking. I’m not talking about creepily following people around at all times, but I’m talking about social media stalking. I’m sure most of us have done it, looking someone up on google, scrolling through their entire Instagram page going years back, checking their Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. People (and myself too) do this when they want to know something about someone before they meet them, or if they want to know someone better, or accidentally when they just click on a tagged post. I myself do this quite often, and a lot of people I know too. It can come in handy sometimes and even be quite fun. But actually, if you think about it, this is quite odd. Because actually what you are doing is digging into someone’s personal life without them knowing and without you really knowing them.
Normalization of social media stalking
It’s safe to say that in today’s society, social media stalking is quite normalized. Reading several blogs and forums online my expectations were confirmed (1,2,3): everyone does it, but that also means everyone is stalked, which is something we often forget. In today’s world information about people is so accessible, that is almost too easy to look someone up. This is something we sometimes forget when we post on social media ourselves. Stalking people on social media is something that comes from the curious nature of people, which is fulfilled more easily now then it did back in the days. I think that there is nothing wrong with this, and I also think it has become and incorporated part of our society. But I also think we should watch ourselves.
First of all, I think that stalking people online is something you can easily lose yourself in. I sometimes also find myself browsing through the depths of Instagram for hours. There is some much information about so many people that you can do this for hours. I also found other people that had this same problem, and for example setting timers for apps can help (1). It can really be addicting, says also a psychology expert in a article I read (4). Spending too much time at looking what other people do and are can make you feel sad about your own life. “We need to understand the impact that behaviour has and question why we’re doing it.”
I also think that stalking someone for too long before meeting them can make the interaction less pure. If you already know everything about someone before even meeting them, this can make the interaction really weird. Maybe it can even make us avoid real world interaction. What if you decide not to go on a date with someone because you already decided that you don’t like them based on their Instagram profile? That would be quite a shame, because someone’s online self can be really different from their real self.
What if I don’t want people stalking me?
I think that the best and only way of stopping people from stalking you or looking you up is to have as little online presence as possible. I think that as long as you post things online actively, people will be able to find you. That’s simply how it works in today’s online society. There also are several tips online that can help you hide your online presence a bit more from people that you don’t know, but I won’t go further into that. I
To conclude I think it is safe to say that the normalization of social media is real. I don’t necessarily think there is something wrong with doing a little bit of social media stalking, but it can get creepy. I think I will watch myself more with what I post online.
References
- https://chatterblast.com/blog/lessons-i-learned-as-a-social-media-stalker/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/zn9bi1/social_media_stalking_is_too_normalised/
- https://www.quora.com/Is-it-weird-to-look-up-someone-you-like-on-social-media-that-you-are-too-fearful-to-ask-out#:~:text=Curiosity%20about%20someone%20you’re,Hi%E2%80%9D%20then%20go%20from%20there.
- https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/social-media-stalking/
Thank you for writing on this topic! I think it is very important to be aware of the fact that other people can see what you post on social media and that they can judge you based on that, even though that would be quiet unfair. Reading about social media stalking, it made me think about gossiping. I think that the problem of gossiping is that you form a judgement on someone based on what others tell you. In both cases, social media stalking and gossiping, the subject has no direct control on the judgement that you’re forming.
Hi,
I definitely agree with you, we all have looked through someones profile online. Sometimes you can indeed get carried away, especially when you’re doing it with a purpose; trying to find out something about the person or to find somebody else through other accounts. I think one thing you didn’t mention though that is quite relevant is the notion that although we may not always be aware, we are subjecting ourselves to this stalking. Everything we put online creates that digital footprint, and allows pretty much anybody to access what you put out. This blog post reminded me again to just be more aware of what I put on online.
Very good point to mention! I think I did mention it at the end of my blog, but it indeed is very important to emphasize. I myself will also be for sure more aware of what I post and who is able to see it.
Thank you so much for this blog post! It was very interesting to read about social media stalking, as I was thinking about it sometimes while looking at the Instagram pages of other people.
I couldn’t agree more with your statement that we cannot escape from it but at the same time, we should watch ourselves at what we post and how we “stalk” other people. It also makes me think about the boundaries that we as observers and the ones being observed set. These boundaries become mostly transparent, as we forget that anything we post and anything we look at creates a digital footprint. Therefore, our online privacy is put at risk.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic. I sense that stalking and digital infatuation are related to the increased sense of isolation we discussed in the lecture about mental health. As our social relationships are relegated to the virtual world our emotive reality adapts to the “unnatural “ environment. It is important to distinguish stalking as a past time and s a serious psychological symptom of diminished mental health. As we enter the VR era the distinction between real and digital relationships will further blurt raising the risk of stalking in the future.
very fun topic to explore, i enjoyed your takes on this and how you not only talked about the stalking, but also being stalked. it gives a perspective that i dont think many people think of when they are busy stalking someone themselves but it is an important angle to discuss. while i myself am also not a stranger to this, i completely agree with the take that after already knowing everything you could find about someone online certainly takes away some ‘magic’ from meeting that person in real life. I dont think enough people talk about this so its good that you chose to inform more people about this topic.
Yep, I’m guilty as charged. Though there are definitely some regulations like private settings. I’d say luckily, if this hadn’t walked against this wall before while trying to find someone. But arguably it is a good thing that people have this power in their own hands, and have the choice what to share with who. I also wanted to mention that my all time favorite stalking activity is on Spotify. A lot of people take at least a little bit of pride in their playlists, so I occasionally just go online and click through some pages to appreciate these little curations xD. I hope they don’t mind.