Recently, I watched a short documentary from the Guardian about Chinese women who travel to other countries, like the United States, hoping to become mothers. These women undergo fertility treatments abroad because it’s not possible for them to do so in their own country. It was a really fascinating topic. In the video, there was also a woman who worked as an influencer. What stuck with me the most was a short clip where she was super enthusiastic and happy while doing a live video for her followers. But as soon as the camera stopped, her cheerful attitude disappeared completely.
This woman was going through a tough time. Her boyfriend had cheated on her, and she really wanted children, which led her to seek fertility treatment abroad. This is not an easy thing to do, emotionally or physically. Even though she seemed to shine for the outside world, inside she was carrying a lot of sadness.
A comment in the video’s comment section has stayed with me ever since. Someone with the username mannyme2986 wrote:
‘’The influencer reminds me of something I have read recently: This is the generation with the happiest pictures and the saddest lives.’’
That remark really hit me because it says so much about the way we live today. When you look at platforms like Instagram, you constantly see the happiest and most colorful photos. People are smiling in beautiful places, from jungle adventures by waterfalls to fancy galas with all their friends. And it’s not just influencers – even in my own social circles, I see this happening more and more.
Take myself as an example: I would never post a sad photo when I don’t feel that great. But that one picture from a ski trip with all my friends? That goes online immediately. It’s a strange contrast because we often only show the beautiful and perfect parts, while life is, of course, so much more than that.
Still, I feel that Instagram has become a bit more diverse in recent years. There are more and more accounts trying to show the ‘real’ world, without filters or perfection. These users give a more honest view of life, where not everything is always sunshine and rainbows. One account I personally follow and love is @celestebarber. She is known for recreating glamorous celebrity photos, but with a hilariously realistic twist. She shows how far reality can be from what we see on social media.
But still, despite that, most people, including myself, still tend to share only the happy moments.
But the quote keeps coming back to me, and it’s something we should think about. It’s a big and complex topic, and this isn’t the moment to go deep into it, but one thing is clear: the online world is not always what it seems. It’s good to realize that what we see on social media is often a polished version of reality. Maybe it’s important to be more aware of this.
We live in a time where the appearance of happiness often seems more important than actual joy. And while platforms like Instagram allow us to capture and share beautiful moments, we shouldn’t forget that behind all those photos and videos, there can be very different stories.
Very relatable! We often share only the highlights, while the struggles or less glamorous parts of our lives stay hidden. As the quote says: we have the happiest pictures but sometimes the saddest lives. I’d personally love to see more ‘real’ moments on social media, so it becomes more normalized to share those kinds of pictures ourselves.
It is quite interesting that my Instagram is quite the opposite haha. I don’t follow a lot of influencers and celebrities so I cannot comment a lot on that. But the ones I do often post their ‘sad’ moments too. Which to be honest, in any case would not really matter to me. But what I noticed between my friends is sharing really not positive stuff on ‘close friends’ on Instagram. I see there people breakdowning and pouring their hearts out, often oversharing. “Close friends” is now like a nowadays confession platform.
I also remember that when I was younger (12-13) I used Instagram for random wayy too personal stuff, which probably was for attention (whoopsie).
Though, I feel like still you are absolutely right and the majority of social media, especially by the influencers, are about their happy, sometimes, fake lives. It is very interesting how it can turn to something absolutely opposite too.
I agree that many people, especially influencers, try to present themselves in the best light by only focusing on the positive aspects of their lives. However, I noticed that it became quite common for younger social media users to create content strictly related to experiencing misery. We could even state that, to some extent, sadness has become a trend. Some popular aesthetics, like ‘sad girl’ or ‘coquette’ aesthetics, are inherently connected to carrying an everlasting burden of sadness. While it is great that people want to share their negative emotions online and oppose the fake positivity that is so common online, when misery becomes a trend, it starts being dangerous. Sometimes, online aesthetics glamorize and romanticize mental health issues, which not only devalues the experience of people who suffer from them and who know how difficult it is to live with them but also makes it seem like it is cool to fall into unhealthy habits because it is seen as a part of your style.
I recently watched a video which dealt with a similar topic, but a little bit less depressing. It was more in the line of people who go to great pains in order to create ‘effortlessly’ beautiful photos of themselves for social media. I think the dichotomy between having very carefree happy photos and the pains that people go to make them appear that way is very interesting. It also reminds me of how people in the past would put on airs of being very happy in public while their private life is less than perfect. In this sense, has social media become the new way of being a socialite?
It is a very interesting topic you talked about! I really never looked at it in this way, but the more I think about it the more I agree. It actually tells us how we are as humans. Positive and happy moments gives us a warm feeling and we like to share that online with others while keeping the negative moments to our selfs. I also liked the way you said that these online happy posts does not define the reality. It is just a polished and filtered part of reality in most cases. It is good to keep this in mind.
We all know deep down that social media does not reflect real life, but it’s quite easy to get caught up in all the seemingly perfect lives we see and compare our own lives to these polished versions of reality. I also really liked your sentence, “We live in a time where the appearance of happiness often seems more important than actual joy. ” Some people don’t realize the time and effort they put into creating an appearance of happiness instead of focusing on actually being happy is not worth it at all. At the end of the day, we should all remember we never know what’s going on behind these posts, and focus on more important things.
The concept of “performative happiness” is such a poignant observation about our current digital culture. It’s fascinating, and also concerning, how the pressure to present a picture-perfect life has almost become an unspoken rule on social media. This performance not only creates a disconnect between our online personas and real lives but also perpetuates a cycle where others feel pressured to compete with those same curated images. I think it would be interesting to explore whether this phenomenon is more pronounced in certain demographics or regions, and to think about how do cultural values and societal expectations influence the way people engage in this kind of performance.