I think a lot of people (specifically millennials and the following generations) have once in their life downloaded a dating app, even if it was out of pure curiosity. Especially during Covid19, dating apps offered a platform to meet new people, with apps such as Bumble even offering a ‘friend’ mode to expand your social relationships when there was no other way of bumping into new people. But how do you make successful connections? I myself, by now, consider myself quite a professional on dating apps as I have had way too many dates and even managed to get two relationships out of swiping. So, let me run you through this.
The Red Flags
The infamous red flag, the warning sign, the feeling you get that maybe something is off with a person. This can be hard to tag when you are only seeing a picture and bio at first. But even at this starting point, there are some things that can be considered a serious red flag and not worth your time to even swipe.
- No bio. This person probably is not someone who is feeling like putting in much effort. If someone is really looking for a meaninful conversation and a nice date, they will put in those 2 minutes to write a little something.
- The referall to their social media. Hmmm, really? Are you on a dating app to get a date or just to get more followers?
- They have only one picture. This is always fishy. Potential catfish alert! Again, this shows very little effort. Oftentimes, these people are not too serious about the dating app either.
- They have only sexy pictures. This usually indicates that they are not looking for anything serious (read: one-night stand). Of course, there is nothing wrong with that perse. If you are looking for the same, go ahead! But don’t expect too much romantics when you swipe this profile.
- Only group pictures. Uhm, yes but which one are you? If you have to ask to find out… don’t even bother.
The Green Flags: What to look for instead
- Their Spotify. A great way to find out if you have a mutual style is to see if their spotify is linked. The type of music someone listens to can say a lot about their personality.
- They have a picture of a hobby. Someone playing a guitar, drawing, hiking is always a good sign! They are showing you what their interests are and this makes it easy to see if you might be a match activity-wise (plus it might offer some ideas for a first date).
- They fill out a prompt. Some dating apps like Hinge and Badoo offer prompts to make it easier for people to list something about themselves without having to be super creative. A little effort to fill out a prompt already shows that they’re willing to put in some energy, as well as that it can help the swiper understand more about their personality.
- They are open about what they’re looking for. Dating apps are hard to navigate. Some people want something casual, other people want to get married. This is why it’s so great if people are upfront about what they want. There’s no judgment in any motivation to get on a dating app. Just make sure that you and the person you swipe are on the same page.
- Their account is verified. A huge green flag! A lot of dating apps now provide the option to get verified by asking you to take a picture of yourself and matching this to the pictures you have uploaded on your profile. This means that you can be sure that the person on the other side of the screen is actually the person who’s picture you’re seeing. Halleluja, no more catfishes!
It’s cuffing season! So get your dating on. Have fun!
References
The Every Girl, Stop Swiping: 12 Dating App Red Flags That You Should Be Looking For
Buzzfeed, People Are Sharing The Red And Green Flags They’ve Seen On People’s Dating Profiles, So Take Notes
LOVED IT! hahaha Everyone that used a dating app has a personalized list of red flags. To be completely honest most of the red flags are extremely superficial and at the end of every “tinder cycle” I feel a lesser human. But then I come back for this brief and addictive moment of brief adoration.
With you being the biggest contributor to the song recommendation list it is not strange to see your first green flag to be their Spotify accounts. Good luck during cuffing season! Hope the readers follow these tips.
Fun blog!!
I think online dating is something that everybody has to try in their life. Since I moved to several cities in the past few years these apps were very helpful to find new friends and people to do activities with. However, every time I go back home in Italy and I talked to my friends about the people I met on Tinder and, they are always a bit shocked that I used this app. I think that in some countries, there are still many taboos around these apps. In my opinion, besides the fact that they are mostly based on superficial elements, like beauty, they are nonetheless good ways to meet new people.
Nice topic! I have tried using dating apps in the past but I always had a mental block when it came to talking online because I always prefer to meet someone organically. However, I understand that a lot of people are used to living their social life through digital spaces so it’s really important to know how to safely navigate those situations. Your list of red and green flags would have been very useful to me if I had seen them when I used to use these apps. I think it’s always the same danger when it comes to interacting with strangers online. Not being able to verify identities and being at risk of being catfished is something that really stopped me from getting comfortable with meeting someone online.
Nice blog! I should definately show these tips to my roommate, since he is a bit of a Tinder addict, but he does not always seem to be as successful. Like you mentioned, most of us have tried dating apps at some point, but many of us have a bit of a cynical attitude towards it, and I think that is a shame, because it can be really useful, especially in these times where contacts with people overall are limited.
I do not personally think that some of your red flags are as bad. The referral to social media is probably not to get more followers (yes there are definitely some on there to just get followers) but to show of more than you can show in a dating profile.
Also, yes having only group pictures is like the most annoying thing ever. I think I always just skip instantly whenever the first photo is a group picture, I can’t be bothered to find who you are in a group of like 5 friends. If you want to be swiped on, show who you are!